Bows that are more high-tech than my car: B-

Making a bow in Boy Scouts: A

The bow your humble editor made in Boy Scouts: C-

Team Handball: A

Ping Pong: A

Playing Ping Pong: C-

Lack of hand/eye coordination: D-

Watching Five Olympic Sports at the Same Time: E for Elvis

Elvis Presley: B

Suspicious Minds: A

A Little Less Conversation: A

Talking too much: D

A little more action: A-

Visiting Graceland: B

Visiting Graceland twice: D-

Graceland album: Then: B Now: A-

Michael Phelps: A

Kosovo’s First Olympic Gold: A

Majilinda Kelmendi: A

Serbia encouraging its athletes not to share a medal podium with Kosovars: F for petty.

Serbia not winning medals in that event: A

Kei Nishikori dropping his racket then winning the point: A+

Kei Nishikori: A

Getting stuck in an elevator: D

Getting stuck in an elevator then defeating Djokovic: A

Juan Martin del Petro: A

Olympic tennis: B

Playing tennis during PE class in the seventh grade: D

Elevator music: D

Mind games: C

Mind games in swimming: C

Australian Mack Horton’s mind games: A

Whining because your mind games weren’t as effective as Mack Hortons: F

Getting robbed at knife point: F

Government official working for ministry in charge of Olympic security getting mugged: push

Mistakes on Chinese flags used for ceremonies: D

Fact that the flags were manufactured in China: A