The good news is repairing the phone won’t cost as much as I feared. The bad news is it will cost more than nothing. The best news is we now have a professional dishwasher in the house.
I took our oldest to the local Genius Bar (Genius because it makes people forget it’s a repair shop and not a place to hangout with like minded phone addicts) and discovered they’ll have to replace her phone. (Three months to irreparable damage; that must be a record.)
I said I’d pay to have it fixed, but she was going to have to do dishes until she was 25 (give or take).
Unfortunately for her she went full teenager soon after that and went somewhere that was not where she said she was going to be. Because of this we’ve now reached an odd understanding (translation: we told her how it was going to be).
The phone will not be repaired. It still works, it’s just not aesthetically pleasing and she’ll have to do dishes until she’s well into her 30s. If she goes full teenager again, we’ve assured her she’ll lose the phone.
The joke may be on us though. We still need to repair it if we want to sell it.