Forgetting About the Sun

Because it’s one of those rare moments where the Season in Which it Rains actually meets Rainy Season, the last several days have been dark, gloomy and rainy here just outside of Tokyo. Today, though, the sun actually came out, which immediately prompted rounds of obligatory silly jokes from me and She Who Must Be Obeyed:

Me–There’s a large golden ball in the sky! What is it?
SWMBO–It’s the sun.
Me–There’s no such thing as the sun! It’s a story created to scare children.

or

Me–Can you believe it? It’s actually sunny.
SWMBO–It’s not the real sun. It’s a fake sun. It’s just a big lamp.

One of the striking things about suddenly seeing the sun after several days is you suddenly realize you forgot the sun and forgot what everything looked like in bright light. Today, especially, the rain stripped away Tokyo’s white summer sky and we had brilliant blue again. It’s funny, but you forget the contrast and the shadows and light. Seeing it all again, especially when the morning was rainy, is a jolt to the senses and you really do feel a bit happier and more energetic.

I bring this up because a friend of mine is currently in and out of a cloudy time in his life. He’s had some recent disappointment and, as I’m prone to do, he worries about things over which he has no control but which are very important to him. He is also prone to denigrate himself over the past and to talk himself out of success. (I sympathize on both of those.)

As a result, he tends not to see what a great guy he is. I personally rank him among the few people in the world I want to be more like. He’s one of the few men I’ve ever met that people genuinely want to see succeed. He’s one of the best read people I’ve ever met–especially with contemporary novels–and yet doesn’t come across as a snob, even when he’s skewering one of your favorite authors. (He’s merciless and dismissive; just not snobbish.)

When he starts meeting people at a party, they usually take an instant like to him. He forms friendships fast and most of those friendships are long-lasting. He’s got a remarkable ability to read people and summarize what they are really like. If he doesn’t form a long-lasting friendship, it’s because he’s seen something in the other person and they’re not worth his time and energy. More than once I’ve heard him describe a person and thought “yeah, that’s exactly right.” He’s so good at this, I actually have a list of people I want him to meet just so I can see his reaction and hear his summary.

However, he tends to dwell on those parts of himself he perceives as not being part of a great guy. Those of us who know him and care about him often want to grab him and shake him but we also know that’s not going to work with him (a true gentleman he may be, but he’s stubborn and can most likely deliver a hell of a Glasgow Kiss).

I think I speak for a lot of people by saying I hope he can learn to see himself they way other people see him. That he can learn to roll with the things he can’t control, however important they may be to him. That he realizes how smart and talented he is and that despite one setback he is worthy of success. We also hope, however dark and gloomy he may feel at times, that he never forgets the sun.

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